Monthly Archives: July 2011

Grecian kind of wonderful


The moment of truth.. the fourth post. I have made it past the dreaded 3. It seems wordpress is stuck with me.

I’m in a pretty fabulous mood today. Why you ask? A dream of mine is about to become a reality. My husband and I are off to the Greek Islands.

Le Sigh! Could I want anything more? Yes, probably, but still it’s pretty fabulous huh. I can just see us there, although when I see us I invision us     looking like an advert in a glossy magazine. Because I look just like Miranda Kerr….. in my dreams.

On the subject of Miranda Kerr, a fellow Australia, I must admit… I think I am the only person in the world that doesn’t like her. Yeah Yeah I know, you’re perfect Miranda. With you’re perfect looks, perfect husband, perfect son, perfect career. You’re perfect. I hear ya. Now shut up about it. Stop preaching about your macro-dumb-biotic diet and your positive thoughts book. Everyone else around me just loves her, I stand alone in my dislike. She strikes a nerve of irration with me. I much prefer models with a bit of flaw, a bit of funk as I like to call it. Give me a bit of Kate Moss edge. I’d read her lifestyle book any day. Cocaine, Cigerettes and Chanel…. this is totally what she would call it. That’s what I would call it. And I would love the shit out of it.

Anyway, dumb Miranda Kerr got me off track…. From tomorrow onwards we shall be galavanting around the Greek Islands. Getting our tan on, eating terribly and swimming in the ocean. Fabulous I tell you.

The only thing left to do is packing, a task I am absolutely terrible at. I end up wanting to pack everything but the kitchen sink. Whenever I do try to cut it down and take bare essentials I spend the most part of my time wishing that I had the items I left behind. Blah. Terrible. Who wants to come pack for me? I promise I’ll stuff you in with my unnessary items and take you along to Greece as reward.

So how do you go about packing for summer holiday? What things can you not leave behind?


Dear 15 year old self…


I was reading about a book where famous people write a letter with some advice to their 15 year old selves. It got me wondering; what would I tell my 15 year old self if I had the chance.

Dear 15 year old Danielle,

Let’s get things straight missy. Stop obsessing over your weight! You need to understand, you’ll never be petite. Not even for a day in your life. Now we’ve got that sorted focus on this, you are built like an Amazonian. You are tall and your body is built to be in proportion with you stature. You will not have many problems with weight. You will stay somewhere between 62-67kg for the next 10 years. You will watch the petite girls that are your peers right now struggle with their bodies when they move into their 20’s. You will stay the same and you won’t need to give it too much thought. No, put the biscuits down. This is not license to pig out, although you will do this from time to time. This just means that you shouldn’t waste time bitching and moaning about your figure. One day, your little sister will grow up and have an identical body to yours. You will not be alone. You will be proud to stand tall and strong, so maybe you should start strutting that pride right now.

I know, you’re dying to ask me about relationships. Now I don’t want to spoil things for you too much buttttttttttt you will meet someone absolutely amazing. You won’t have to wait long to meet him so don’t despair. Those boys that your running around with now are just a phase. Enjoy the moment, don’t get too attached. They certainly don’t get attached to you. All that puppy love you are feeling right now I know can be lonely. I can just see you sitting there, writing your poems about unrequited love and plotting to get the objects of your affection to pay attention to you. Don’t waste time like this. When it is right, you’ll know. You will know all along, from the moment you meet the man who will become your husband. You will spend an amazing life together and all those other boys will remain in your past.

You will have amazing relationships. Do not be afraid to be yourself. Hasn’t anyone told you that it is a waste of the person you are to try to be someone else. Don’t be so insecure with your friendships. The girls that are in your life now will follow you well into your 20’s. They are amazing women. Don’t play yourself like you’re the group fuck up. You’ll be still trying to shake that tag until the present day. You are the only one that believes your hype anyway. These girls will always be supportive of you and your crazy ideas. Anyone who isn’t, is just quite frankly not worth your time girl! And you will meet wolves dressed as lambs. Don’t be fooled. It’s a waste of your energy.

Another thing that has taken me all these years to figure out is this, if you have a problem with someone, tell them so. Don’t bitch behind anyone’s back. Call them out on the issue. Stop worrying that if you show annoyance at someone they won’t want to be your friend anymore. If that was the case, they wouldn’t be worth your time would they? Don’t be afraid of conflict. It’s nothing to be proud of. Call out the issue, sort it out and then move on. It is the best way. You will see.

You also need to pay attention in class and stop acting so darn cool. Girlfriend – you are not cool! You will never be cool. But cool is so boring. Embrace your love for learning. Talk about the books you are reading. Need I say it again, don’t play up to your own hype. You will look back and wish you tried harder. You knew you could. Stop fucking around just because you don’t know what you want to be when you grow up. Here’s a bombshell for you, you’re going to be 25 and you still won’t know what you want to be. But don’t let that stop you from doing well. I wish that I hadn’t, I could’ve created a much easier future for you.

And that trip around the world you turn down because you want to go to your highschool formal. Don’t. Go. You will always wish you had. Travel is a true passion for you. It will take you years of struggling to get this opportunity again.

Most of all, don’t be ashamed to be who you are. Let that freak flag fly. You won’t be the most popular girl in the room, but don’t worry about that. Popularity means fuck all anyway. You will have all that you need in the shape of your beautiful friends and family. You live a great life, don’t let precious moments pass you by.

Lots of Love,

Future Danielle xo


What would you tell your 15 year old self if you had the chance??

The Rapunzel in limbo effect


Here’s a confession for my zero strong fan base… this is not my first blog.

Oh no my dears, this is probably about the fourth. I start off strong with the whole introducing myself bit, because who doesn’t have verbal diarrhea when talking about themselves. By the third post I’m all out of juice. It’s so disheartening when you are only talking to yourself. I’m not sure how to reach out to other bloggers, how to become apart of the community. If anyone stumbles upon me and can lend a sista a hand, give me some tips y’all. I’m determined to persevere this time round. Even if that means yapping on to myself for 1000 entries.

So, what’s a girl to do when she has no readers and only herself to write about? Who knows? But I’m going to continue on like the crazy cat lady with no cats that I am.

Right now, I am a little lost. I mean, I am on the other side of the world living this bizarre life and I have no fricken idea what I’m doing or where I’m going. Has anyone seen the fabulous Disney movie Tangled? If you have not yet seen it, trust me – amazeballs. But that’s beside the point I’m trying to make here. There is a part in the film where Rapunzel finally breaks free from her tower. She’s on her way into town to see the lanterns and she is basically like prancing around screaming out ‘BEST. DAY. EVER’, 2 seconds later she is then crying ‘I’M A DESPICABLE PERSON’. It goes sort of like that for a while ‘I’M GOING BACK’….. ‘I’M NEVER GOING BACK’. That is basically me in a nut shell.

Today, I’ve had a bit of a Debbie Downer day. I got a phone call from a girlfriend at home and all I could think of is that I wanted to turn into Harry Potter and disaparate my shit back home. I’ve walked around in a funk ever since. And then tomorrow, who knows. I may want to wrap myself in a time pod where I never have to go home.

There are so many things I am excited about doing. I mean, in 3 days time I’m off to Greece. People would kill to be in my shoes and here I am whingeing and whining about wanting to be home so I can have a wardrobe to colour code once more…. (oh, you don’t do that – excuse my OCD for a moment).

My Dad suggested I write my goals out so I can work towards something again but I’m greedy. I want it all. As long as it’s fun of course. What’s a gal to do? Enjoy Greece I guess. Don’t you love how I write that like it’s hard. Thought’s on goals zero fan base..? I’m a believer in having an objective but I just don’t know what I’m trying to achieve here. World domination perhaps?

By the way, nice to meet you…


So how awkward is it to introduce yourself? Short answer. Very. Excuse me while I stare at the floor, fiddle with my hair and mumble through this. Except that in real life I do none of these things, I’m just writing them for dramatic effect. Totally worked huh?

I was named after my grandfather Daniel Francis who was never referred to as Daniel his entire life. He was always called Mick. But that’s another story. My name is Danielle Frances and I turned out to be the female. I think. Just kidding. I know.

You may have gathered from my name that my parents didn’t think things through. Not only was I named after a man, which is not normally what you would do to your bouncing baby girl but I am often nicknamed Dani Fanny (the nickname for Danielle obviously being Dani and the nickname for Frances is unfortunately Fanny). A name until recent years I would’ve total punched you in the arm for calling me. Now I find, like other characteristics you can’t change, it’s better to embrace. I met a girl named Gaynor recently, things could’ve been worse. Both my treasured niece and nephew call me Aunty Fanny. But it’s okay. Well, it’s okay except for when I take them out in public and they are screaming out ‘FANNY’ at the top of their lungs and while all the other responsible adults are giving me filthy looks. But they have their minds in the gutter, it’s all very innocent y’all.

I am 24 years old although I often have to think about it. I fear that when I reach 50 I will truly believe that I am only 34. Perhaps I will be stuck in my own fountain of youth. I hope so anyway.

I was married at 21 years old which is normally a recipe for disaster. But from what I have just written, you will know that I am not normal. I am extremely lucky. My husband Chris and I met in highschool and have been in a loving supportive relationship since we were both 17 years old. He is my best friend and the source of much happiness in my life. I steal all his jokes and sayings because basically he is awesome. You would think so if you met him.

Currently we are living in London but we both hail from a small town on the east coast (I think east, I hardly know left from right so don’t shoot me) in Australia. We originally planned on staying in London to work and travel but figured we would take the work out of the equation. What we decided to do instead was travel for 3 months before returning to our little armpit town to be total grown ups. We have visited I believe 12 countries while being over here and have Greece left to conquer before heading home to live with my amazing Grandmother.

My family are the most important people in my life and you will hear a great deal about them. They are kind of insane. I always imagined I would marry someone with a real normal, settled family but instead I married Chris and his family is also insane. Insane and absolutely friggen awesome. Who wants normal anyway? I’m pretty certain if you look up normal in the thesaurus you will also find the word boring.

Other things you should know about my is that I am obsessed with the Beatles (more specifically John Lennon), I have a tattoo that says imagine, I love reading books, long walks on the beach and candlelit dinners. Scratch the last two, I thought I was writing a dating blog for a moment. If you disagree that baby animals in buckets aren’t the cutest thing in the world you should not be reading this blog.

Before writing this post I read the ‘are you new here’ tab where it suggested I should outline what the hell I intend on writing in this blog. So here is it. Me, me and more me. My adventures, my opinions, my life. Because we all get to be narcissistic sometimes.

To quote the fabulous Bowie; I don’t know where I’m going, but I promise it won’t be boring.